but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
