8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
