I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Randomize