I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
