Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
