I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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