yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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