So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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