Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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