thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
