Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
