they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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