People in love make me want to vomit
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
