This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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