some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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