Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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