why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
