so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
