you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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