So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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