it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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