Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
