So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
