I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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