would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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