I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize