all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
