i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
