I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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