They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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