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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No idea how I passed that sobriety test.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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• (716): View more from New York

  And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's make jello shots for tomorrow

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What's going on tomorrow?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nothing, it's Wednesday

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Atleast he is letting you know he will be late

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• (458): View more from Oregon

  I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.

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