Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever