I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
