no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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