Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
