Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
