dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize