im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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