Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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