"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
