We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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