Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
