I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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