Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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