ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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