You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
