it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
