It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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