What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
