I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
