So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
