so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's great music for shaving your balls
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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