is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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