For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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