I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
