Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
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