after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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