For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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