the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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