Cold hands, warm shart.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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