I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
