i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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