R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
