i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
