You just made me feel so damn special
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
